So when you sign up to Ride Across Britain, you think about all the training that you need to do, how you are going to ride, the worries about ‘mechanicals’ or accidents, will i need to push the darn thing up hills and how much will the weather conspire to be against me. All good stuff, but RAB is more than the ride, its 24 hours x 9 days….and to make that at all bearable there are some rituals that I found myself adopting in the night and morning, not all pleasant, but nevertheless necessary to ensure that the day’s ride was going to be doable, or so i’d thought. Here’s a few.
- Go to bed at 9 o’clock, after the evening meal and shaving. i need the sleep. Get up at 9:15 needing another trip to the toilet. Lots of noise, passing wind, people whispering to their love ones on the phone – we hear every word, every single bleeding word. It’s okay, it’s still early, don’t panic, don’t get annoyed.
- Waking up in the middle of the night needing another pee. It’s dark, cold and you are in the middle of a field, the grass is wet, and you are surrounded by 600 tents. You make a deal with yourself. If it’s earlier than 4am then you’ll scramble out of the cosy sleeping bag, put on cold clothes, find the head-torch and then brave the walk to the lavatory, nodding to a few zombies along the way. If it’s latter than 4am, then you’ll hold on and hope sleep will come back for the last 90 minutes. Hold it just hold it.
- Now you are awake, the snoring and sounds of people passing wind which has in all fairness been going on all the while, fills your ears. Where are the ear-plugs damn it ?
- Counting down the time until you have to get up. To sleep, perchance to dream, for about 10 minutes.
- It’s 5:45am, you know that the “alarm by music” isn’t going to play for 45 minutes, but people are getting up, shuffling around, queues already forming – i know , i know, i am getting up, it’s dark still.
- I sit up and brush my head against the tent, great now i have a wet head. Remember next time to put on a cap or beanie for this.
- I sync the UP band; yep 4 hours of sleep although i went to bed at 9 o’clock. great start !
- You know that putting on the heart-strap is like plunging into a ice-bucket, but you do it quickly, just to get it out of the way.
- What cycling clothes am i going to need ? You check BBC or Accuweather for the 100th time and still cannot decide. Sod it, base layer, jersey and leg/arm warmers. Any thought of rain then it’s the Gabba or lightweight jacket.
- Round up of all i need to complete ablutions and get breakfast – minimising the number of return visits to the tent is religious.
- It is a clothes wash day – what really needs washing, what can i get away with for another day ?
- Did i charge everything i need for the day ? Darn, do i need a quick recharge of the iPhone, it’s only 50% !!
- Emerge into a scene of mass, but quiet activity. Little or no talk, the occasional sound of someone passing wind off in the distance to disturb the tranquility.
- Of course everything is wet, no rain, but dew, my feet get cold, no point wearing socks, deal with it.
- Ablutions required. Essential to let off some “pressure” before the ride, cannot expect too much as the digestion system is still in shock, but please just a little so i know i can put on the chamois cream and not have to wipe it off in 10 minutes time, or suffer a beaded brow as we pull out of the camp for the day. You might try to put it off until after breakfast only to suffer the dreaded “turtles head”, and where the hell did that queue for the lavatory block come from !
- Breakfast is a blur, it’s refueling, stuffing in porridge, two eggs, bacon, tea, bread, bananas, sausages – the order of intake is immaterial.
- See 15.
- Brush teeth standing in the cold and dark – i did remember to bring my brush ? – oh heck !
- Final rush to get dressed, apply chamois; then stuff clothes into the bag (i used large resealable freezer bags to keep stuff dry and in some semblance of order). Pack toiletries, pack electricals, unpack leg warmers, clear or dark lens ? shoes covers or not, manhandle sleeping bag into cover, push, prod, shove into the bag, roll up the sleeping mat. Look around what’s missing, there’s always something ! No worries I’ll wait until I’ve pushed off until realising i haven’t filled the bidons.
- Walk to the bike, do the tyres still have air? …. i am paranoid, and sure enough one day (Haydock) the back was flat. Dry the bike from dew, do we need any fettling, no seems to be okay, make way to the start line.
- So we said meet at 7 ish, well its now 20 past and the regular crew i’m riding with are (a) ahead of me waiting with disguised grins or (b) phaffing like me.
- Remember to start the Garmin, remember, remember !!
- Click in the left leg, why wont it engage ? Then, look around, remember to take off the cleat protectors, phew did anyone see that ritual, again ?
- Right we are off….i could do with a pee, and i’m still hungry from the nerves. But it’ll only >100 miles to go. What could go wrong ?
